The Neuroscience Of EQ

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A man who researchers refer to as “Patient X” was a medical mystery. He suffered two strokes, which severed the connection between his eyes and brain. So even though his eyes were perfectly functional and could take in sights, his brain couldn’t “register” what he was seeing. From Patient X’s perspective, he was blind.

Neuroscientists, however, were intrigued by his unique circumstance. They began to run tests to understand exactly how his eyes and brain work together. In one test, they held up images of people expressing emotions: A happy woman and an angry man. Something fascinating happened. Patient X accurately identified which emotion was being shown to him despite the fact that he couldn’t see or describe the picture. How was this possible?

To find out, the researchers took brain scans. They found that the brain has a second path from the eyes. This second route, the one Patient X was using to recognize emotions, goes directly to the lower part of the brain (to the amygdala). This lower path is faster-acting and doesn’t express itself via speech. As Daniel Goleman writes in his book Social Intelligence, “Patient X was not seeing the emotions on the faces so much as feeling them…” Instead of seeing and identifying the emotions in the image, Patient X’s brain was mimicking the emotion in his body. Then, he could identify the emotion he felt in his own body and guess accordingly.

The Forking Path of Emotions: The Low Road or the High Road?

Patient X shows us how emotions work in our brain. Essentially, you can think of your brain as having two main roads:

1. The Low Road - The low road is lightning-quick and automatic. This path goes almost directly to your amygdala. The low road is how Patient X was able to know what emotions he saw by feeling them, even without seeing an actual image. The low road is fast but, importantly, less accurate than the high road.

2. The High Road - The high road is, by the brain’s standards, “slow.” The high road feeds your senses to a more intentional part of the brain—the prefrontal cortex. Here, you can “think” about what’s happening to you, not just feel it. The high road is slower, but it’s also much more accurate and complex.

Because of the speed of the low road, it can sometimes trigger reactions we regret. As Goleman writes, “By the time the low road has reacted, sometimes all the high road can do is make the best of things.” On the other hand, if we only had the upper road, we might not react quickly enough to immediate threats or jump in to lend a helping hand. Importantly, we rely on both roads and their connection to each other. It’s a system of checks and balances.

How Can the High Road Help You Be More Emotionally Intelligent?

If you see a stick on the road and lunge backward because you mistook it for a snake, that’s your low road. When you start laughing because you see that it was just a stick, that’s your high road kicking into gear. The high road evolved to help us get more accurate, specific, and complex. Often, when we talk about “emotional intelligence” we’re talking about activating that high road. Here are two examples of how you can use the high road to grow your EQ:

1. Reframing: If you find yourself constantly interpreting your boss’s constructive feedback as a personal attack, that’s a high road interpretation. That means, you can “think your way out of it” by reframing. For example, if you interpret constructive feedback as a judgment on your ability (negative), you might reframe your thinking as grateful for the feedback, eager to learn, and motivated to improve (positive). You’re essentially using the high road to reframe your thinking and positively influence your emotions.

2. Imagination: You can remember the past or imagine the future to influence your emotions. This is often how an actor manipulates their emotions, imagining with such intensity that it alters their expression and how they comport themselves. One study even found that just by remembering a time you were curious, you can make your energy and focus shoot up by 20%.

How Can the Low Road Help You Be More Emotionally Intelligent?

How is it that one friendly barista can flip the entire tone of your day, making you feel more upbeat and playful? Or why is it that when your boss passes you in the hallway looking stressed out, that stressed feeling sticks with you for the rest of the day? This spreading of emotions from person to person is called emotional contagion. It happens through the “low road.” Just like Patient X feeling the emotions he couldn’t actually see, we pick up on and feel the emotions of the people around us. For this reason, it’s essential to understand your emotions and regulate them—especially in proximity to other people.

P.S. If you have a thought, question, or something you’d like me to write about, hit reply. I’m always looking to learn from you all!